Heartbeat
by melissalopez
Summary: The bridesmaids and groomsmen stood in the front of the room dressed in their wedding attire waiting ever so patiently for the ceremony to begin, and as I gracefully made my way to take my seat with Edward, inside I was stumbling over my own thoughts....


So the other day i got this idea for a story and now heres a part of it ! Enjoy Enjoy!

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Chapter 1: Fixated 

My head was spinning as I took in the scenery around me. Flowers cascading down like waterfalls in every place imaginable, ribbons delicately hanging over the posts lining the isle way, and crystals upon crystals sparkling across the beautifully lit room. It was amazing, leave it to Alice to be able make a room take your breath away.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen stood in the front of the room dressed elegantly in their wedding attire waiting ever so patiently for the ceremony to begin, and as I gracefully made my way to take my seat with Edward, inside I was stumbling over my own thoughts. I had known this day was come for so long didn't I? I knew that eventually they would be married. So why was it all seeming so hard to take in?

I shook my head as I got seated trying to rid myself of my thoughts. Edward's loving embrace swung around my shoulders and I saw the hint of worry wash over his usually calm features.

"Is everything ok my love?" he whispered

I grasped his free hand and nodded, trying to reassure him....and myself.

Maybe I was just nervous for my daughter on her wedding day, maybe I had a case of motherly pre-wedding jitters. I repeated my reasoning as I sat there trying to convince myself, but who was I kidding? Why on earth would I be nervous for her? The spirits had chosen her perfect mate, hadn't they? What reason would I have to be nervous?

I gulped attempting to ease the sick feeling that was now building in my stomach, but it was no use.

I looked up as the music started to play and my eyes fell upon the perfectly polished groom that stood at the end of the isle. My breathing became labored and I felt as if my stomach had dropped to my feet. I'm positive that if it were possible for my heart to stop all over again it would have.

Our eyes meet, and I sat there fixated.

He looked at me with the familiar brown eyes that had a way of warming even a soul that had been turned ice cold. His lips held a weak half smile and underneath the warmth and love I could see the sadness lying in the depths of his eyes as they rested in our stare. He was looking at me the way he had always looked at me, even still to this day. In love, but now restrained and bound to someone else.

I felt the knots in my stomach getting tighter as a flood of memories rushed into my head.... Our time together before the events occurred that lead us to this day, all of the times that we had caught each others glance and remembered what it was like before all this, seeing him with my daughter when she was a baby, watching him with her as she was growing up, taking care of her, playing with her, protecting her....

Our gaze was broken as the attention of the guests swayed to the beginning of the isle and we all rose to our feet. There she stood at the entrance of the doors being held open for her, wrapped luxuriously in an array of white fabric that shimmered as the lights in the room bounced off its intricate beading. She looked beautiful beyond words, this should be one of the happiest moments in a mothers life. I should be filled with joy and excitement for my daughter. So why wasn't I? Why was the constant tightening of the knots in my stomach the only thing I could feel?

I gazed around at the guests in awe of my daughter, at Edward wearing one of the largest smiles on this face that I had ever seen him wear in my life, at the bridal party genuinely excited about the event that was about to take place, and then my eyes found their way back to the groom staring intently at my daughter down the isle. I watched as his breath was caught in his chest and as the sadness that was held in his eyes when our eyes meet slowly faded away almost instinctively, mechanically....

and then it hit me.

I wasn't nervous for my daughter on her wedding day and it most definitely wasn't a cause of motherly pre-wedding jitters. I wasn't happy or excited.

Jacob was about to marry Renesmee.... and I, was overwhelmingly and desperately protesting inside.

The feelings that I had told my self were suppressible were all spilling over the edge.

I was in love with Jacob Black. I've always been in love with Jacob Black, even though he realized it before I did, and despite my attempts to accept the fact that I had already made my decision, I was still to this day, underneath all of my love for Edward, in love with Jacob Black.

I stood there still, lost in a trance with my own thoughts, blankly staring at the faces that filled the room.

When I had made my choice to stay with Edward, I told myself that the love I had for him couldn't me matched, that nothing could ever come close. But the truth is something had. Obstacle by obstacle, Jacob found a way to stand tall in the shadow cast over him by my undying love for Edward and make me realize, I love him too.

It had been easy to see Jacob with Renesmee when she was a baby. When she was younger he was like a second father to her, of course I didn't mind. somewhere in the back of my head I had subconsciously allowed my self to think of it as what Jacob might have been like to the father of our child if I had givin him that chance. Then as Renesmee grew older he was no longer a fatherly figure. The love grew in her eyes and it got harder to watch, but I told myself that Jacob would be in my life forever and that having him as a son in law would be enough.

Now on their wedding day as I watch the exchange of their vows about to take place before my eyes, I realize that that, is **nowhere** near enough.

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I hope you enjoyed it !

please please read and review ! Tell me what you think !

-Melissa


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